Are you a stay at home mom who sometimes experiences depression or anxiety? Do you ever feel lonely, resentful, or even guilty for being a sahm?
You can tell by my efforts in building this blog, that I want to pay tribute to all the incredible and selfless stay at home mothers out there. But in order to paint a well-rounded picture, I think it’s equally important that I reveal the gray and often undisclosed aspects of being a stay at home mom.
NOT ALL SUNNY DAYS
While there are many wonderful moments for us, there are also a lot of difficult times, incredibly difficult times that one can only understand as a stay at home mom.
Ever since I became a stay at home mom, I have to admit that sometimes I have feelings of depression and anxiety myself. I would like to share with you some of the factors that contribute to my not-so-glorious sahm moments:
- Sleep deprivation (I swear, my eyes look like they’ve aged so much since having a baby!)
- Boredom from the same daily routine (the repetition of my weekday schedule and the lack of spontaneity)
- Frustration with the unending chores (“Didn’t I just do laundry?)
- Asking myself, “Seriously, when can I ever get a break?!”
- Pressure from having a baby/toddler completely dependent on me
- Isolation from other adults
- Inability to vent and confide in other moms who empathize with me (I don’t know a lot of stay at home moms here in San Diego)
- Missing the social scene: My girlfriends don’t call me to go out anymore, of course they know I can’t join them for happy hour anyway : (
- Financial insecurity (Guilt that I am not contributing to our finances, when I have a large income potential)
- Worrying that my skills in the working world and my creativity will atrophy
- Having unrealistic expectations (I gotta have dinner ready before my husband gets home!)
- Suffering from insomnia even though I’m so exhausted (my body is tired but my mind won’t rest)
- Grieving over my lost professional identity
- Fear that I cannot keep up with my child’s demands and unending energy
- Worrying, “Does my child ever get bored of me?”
- Obsessing over having a “perfectly” neat and orderly household
- Wondering, “Does my husband resent me for not paying attention to him as much as I attend to our son?”
Even though it’s difficult to reveal these issues, I believe it’s important to let others know that if you are battling difficult days, frustrations, insecurities, sadness, fear, anxiety or guilt with any aspects of being a stay at home mom, you are not alone.
Many stay at home mothers, including myself, share your feelings. When you have difficult days, it does not mean (at all) that you’re a bad mother. It’s okay to have difficult days, being a stay at home mom poses a lot of challenges! What matters is that we are willing to explore ways to improve our coping skills.
INSPIRATION TO HELP YOU
Because I know how challenging it is to find that delicate balance of taking care of your family, while also finding time and energy to take care of yourself, I created the Inspirations section in Mama Bear Matters. Here, I share with you my favorite quotes, exercises, movies, songs, and more. These “inspirations” help me feel centered and contribute so much to my well-being. By regularly nurturing my body and my interests, I am able to ward off depression and feelings of anxiety more successfully.
This is a very important part of my mission as I work hard to cultivate Mama Bear Matters. This blog is not just to discuss issues (matters) that are relevant to us stay at home moms. I want to remind you other stay at home mothers that we, as a mother, as a wife and as an individual really do matter. Our needs as a person count too, and caring for ourselves is especially instrumental in creating a happy home.
LET YOUR CUP RUNNETH OVER
Like my mother says, “The husband represents the walls and foundation of the house, but the mother is the light of the home.” In other words, we as mothers must be able to shine and exude light and happiness, so that we may truly brighten the lives of our family.
In closing, please know it is my ultimate hope with this community blog and my posts that you find encouragement to take better care of yourself, and to remind you that your own well-being also matters.
Thank you for your patience as I slowly (but wholeheartedly) build my Mama Bear Matters site. I deeply believe in extending myself to you, in hopes that we can connect with each other and share our stories of strength as stay at home moms.
Disclaimer: My writings on this post, along with any information included on Mama Bear Matters, are only within the scope of my own opinions, thoughts and personal experiences. Please note that my writings are not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information posted on Mama Bear Matters for their own situation, especially if they have any questions regarding a medical condition. Again, I do not endorse any information on Mama Bear Matters to diagnose or treat or replace professional medical advice.
- What are some of your coping skills that help you deal with the challenges of being a stay at home mom?
You can also refer here for some helpful online readings regarding this very important topic.
Share your story, your story matters.