The other night I read a wonderful blog called Purposeful Homemaking in which Becky, the writer, posted a thought-provoking question that struck me.
In one of Becky’s recent blogs titled, “The Measure of Success” she asks in introspection, “Will I look back on my life someday and feel I was successful even though I didn’t contribute a paycheck to the family?”
The question prompted me to ask the same of myself, “Can I honestly say that I lead a fulfilling and successful life as a stay at home mom even if I don’t have a career outside the home?”
I also reflected, “Do I still provide a significant contribution to my family even though I don’t bring home a paycheck?”
Without any regrets, my answer when I contemplated on these questions is YES, I feel fulfilled and successful as a stay at home mom. YES, I give a significant contribution in my home even though I don’t bring home a paycheck.
I feel fulfilled and successful as a stay at home mom because I get to pursue my life’s calling and passion everyday. Instead of cultivating a career in the workforce, I’m cultivating my home and family life.
I’m deeply grateful to have found God’s calling and that He has called me to be primarily at home for my family.
Tending to my home, my husband, and our son, is immeasurably more important and rewarding to me than earning money. If I’m being honest with myself, the things that I would be working for outside the home, just to earn another paycheck are exactly just that – things.
I measure my personal success by how much attention I give my family, not by how much money I bring home. Moreover, I would much rather place my daily efforts inside my home, rather than any job outside my home. Being always available and visible for my husband and our son far outweighs what a secondary paycheck could ever provide for my family.
Although my responsibilities as a stay at home mom yields no monetary rewards, I am enriched in other and more important ways. I take pride that from the moment our son Evan opens his eyes, to the moment he rests his head at night, I am the one who cares for him. I would never want to place our son in a daycare or have someone else raise our son, just to have another income. Being our son’s main caretaker is profoundly more significant to me than money or the pursuit of a career.
I’m so thankful to my very hard working husband, Randy, for providing for all our needs. He works long shifts everyday so that I am able to stay home and care for our son. I must also note that my husband has never made me feel inadequate for not having a job outside the home. Quite the opposite actually, he is so appreciative and supportive about my role as a stay at home mom.
I’m grateful that my husband makes me feel valuable even though I don’t contribute a paycheck for our family. I never once felt the need to apologize to him for not supplementing our income by going to work. We both understand the greater value in me being a stay at home mom. Randy is so sweet, every night he thanks me for taking care of him and our son and for keeping our family and home life in order. I feel very blessed to have an understanding, supportive and appreciative husband.
I understand that every family has a different financial situation with different priorities, so having a stay at home parent may not be ideal in other family dynamics.
But as for me and my husband, we have accommodated our lifestyle so that we are able to be comfortable on one income. Let me write that again, we have accommodated our lifestyle so that we are able to be comfortable on one income. Not the other way around – my husband and I refuse to accommodate our family life around having a dual income.
As a stay at home mom, I may not earn a paycheck. But I believe I earn something better, I earn the privilege and rewards of being an available and visible mother to our son and wife to my husband. This is infinitely more fulfilling for me and valuable to my family than any out-of-the-home job could ever offer.
I may not provide my family with money, but I am happier to provide my family with attention.
I celebrate all of you other stay at home moms who have sacrificed your careers and earnings so that you may foster a more positive, peaceful and well-attended family and home life.
She asks not how her behavior may please a stranger, or how another’s judgment may approve her conduct; let her beloved be content and she is glad.”- Charles Spurgeon
- What are the non-monetary values that you get to contribute to your family as a full time stay at home mom?
Share your story, your story matters.